Icehaim

Every time I look at this kid, hiding here in the crowd, I want to punch her in the face. Not because she's done something wrong. And certainly not because I'm some psycho who loves punching kids. It's the cost of her standing there on that podium, waving at a crowd that adores her. Adores her so much that they give her that name. My nation calls her the bravest gül (flower) of Iceheim. 

Iceheim is my home planet. The full rotation on its own axis takes 112.55 hours; the average temperature on the surface is 133 Kelvin; the gravitational acceleration is 5.9 m/s^2; the pressure is 70.9 kPa; 78% Nitrogen, 12% Argon, 8% Oxygen, ~0.9% CO2, <0.5% trace gases. On the day side, winds blow towards the Terminator (Twilight Zone). On the night side, winds are steady, brutal, and carry super-cooled air saturated with small drops of liquid nitrogen; temperatures sometimes plummet below 70 Kelvin. At the Terminator, the winds are chaotic. It’s the place where two air systems collide, creating violent storms that are as sharp as knives. That’s why to survive people should move, following the star. Otherwise, we would be torn to pieces and frozen to death. 

Carbon dioxide and trace greenhouse gases are the only reasons the day side is merely brutal rather than instantly lethal. Without them, the livable side would be almost no different from the Forbidden One. Iceheim is at equilibrium - the concentration of greenhouse gases is enough to make a little of it habitable, but not enough to warm it. 

A frozen hell in the solar system, so far away from the center of the galaxy, that even the Great Khaganate didn’t bother to conquer it. That’s why Iceheim still has few independent khanates. Though none of them is truly independent. They are forced to work together to make sure that everyone can nomadize across the planet, because by themselves they can’t survive on a planet that acts more like a slow blender than a big rock floating around a red dwarf.

The East sunrise is the safest time when people can relax and sleep before doing necessities for another trip, such as enriching minerals for fuel, teaching, checking the conditions of yurts, predicting the weather, calculating and mapping the journey, and many more. But at that moment, these all are not in people’s minds. They’re surrounding me, cheering for this girl, pushing me here and there, while I’m recalling everything that happened.

As soon as we went up to follow the star, anomalously strong winds started blowing exactly West. And although our ships were designed to overcome them, we hadn’t checked the engines for a while. Hoping for the wind to be merciful, we were moving slower than we needed. For an hour or two, I can’t remember exactly, everything had been relatively steady. But later, looking at a radar, one of the Khevtuul disappeared. The Khevtuul are also known as the Night Guards. Their role is to bring up the rear - the closers. Meanwhile, the Torguud are the Day Guards; they lead Horde based on data given by Yurtchi (Quartermaster). The moment I noticed its disappearance, I informed Yurtchi. Though I knew, according to protocols, under these circumstances we couldn’t stop to send the scouts and rescuers. 

We landed immediately after the wind calmed down. Everyone, myself included, started moving, shouting, and fixing something; we looked like a disturbed ant’s nest. I moved from yurt to yurt to check their communication and navigation modules. But no matter how busy we were, at some point the backs of our heads were completely illuminated by the sunset, when we stood in awe, trembling before the terrible beauty of the dark and cold landscape that lay before us. And every time we gazed upon it, we clearly understood its intent - to kill us. Though we had fled from the darkness for generations, we still feared the Forbidden Side of our home planet. Everyone, when they had a chance, tried to look for signs of the missing Khevtuul in this darkness. And when it was unsuccessful, people tried to hide their disappointment and sadness by keeping doing their job. But many already accepted the death of the crew. 

I was instructed to visit Yurtchi, along with other inspectors. It was a routine procedure, a fundamental yet crucial aspect of bureaucracy. Every report was quick; every word was to the point, and every problem was solved. We were safe to continue our endless journey. I was put as a temporary member of the Night Guards. In my yurt, I had a powerful high-sensitivity receiver; maybe that’s why I was among the elite group that I didn’t particularly qualify to be in. I wasn’t unwelcomed - most were my friends or my friends’ friends. Just the recent disappearance hurt their morale, and they couldn’t greet me as they would usually do to temps. 

I set up my receiver hoping for a miracle, and that miracle happened around thirty minutes after Horde took off. At first, the signal was not understandable at all; most likely, the missing yurt’s communication module didn’t properly work. Obviously, it was absent during the prior inspection. Still, it took some weight off our shoulders and gave hope, especially for other members of Khevtuul. Also, the distance wasn’t optimal whatsoever. I changed a few parameters, and it was the first time I heard the voice of the girl with a pretty punchable face.

"Please," she whispers, "my hands and legs hurt. Mama and Papa won't wake up. It's freezing cold here. Someone, please help me…” 

Without a second thought - surrounded by that quiet yet piercing weeping - I started triangulating (localizing) the signal. It took some time, since other yurts also had to set up receivers. I needed at least another two, preferably three, to increase the accuracy of the calculations. Once it was done, I felt that something was wrong. I rechecked my numbers once more, and although the coordinates remained only approximate, everything pointed to the worst-case scenario. The missing yurt was on the other side of the Terminator.

I rushed to inform other members of Khevtuul, and even if I couldn’t see them, I guess they were moving, looking even more like an ant’s nest. My fault was that I informed them first, and not Yurtchi. Without a command, these elite ants started preparing for the rescue mission. When the quartermaster found out about it, it was already too late. Yes, superiors could order them to keep doing their duties, but Yurtchi’s power was not enough to stop them. 

Even inside of Iceheim’s independent khanates, there are multiple semi-independent groups, like clans and tribes with their own leaders. Torguud, Yurtchi, and Khevtuul are the most influential among these groups. They control and limit each other; when one attempts to be the sole leader of Iceheim, the power of the other two is enough to stop it. A fragile balance that allows the Horde to be what it is right now, and everyone knows that, including the Great Khaganate. 

Torguud was busy in front of the Horde doing its skyfarer job and couldn’t help Yurtchi. Meanwhile, Khevtuul prepared everything and, unfortunately, took me with them. Everything that followed was like a blurry, cold as pins and needles nightmare.

Triangulation is a method used to determine an unknown location by measuring angles from two, preferably three, known reference points. In my case, these reference points are receivers. After accounting for acceleration, I hit a mathematical wall I hadn't anticipated - a side effect of being thrown in all directions while crossing the Twilight Zone. The signal weakened further, and I was left with a 1.4-kilometer radius. To avoid falling too far behind the Horde, Night Guards decided to separate. The darkness enveloped us, and visibility was limited. The strong wind carried liquids in the air, which reflected light, making it even harder to see.

Who knows how much time passed with no signs of the missing yurt, but it was clear that metal walls, that separated us from instant death, started slowly but surely degrading. Every once in a while, we would get an order to return immediately. These messages were successfully ignored, as we kept putting ourselves in risk for a girl we were not even sure was still alive. 

After a while, I noticed a light. Landing was incredibly uncomfortable due to the strong wind and poor visibility. I quickly sent my coordinates to all members of Khevtuul and, without waiting for a response, put on a suit and grabbed an extra one for the girl. The yurt was in a terrible state; it was partially buried in the ground at an angle. Surprisingly, the traces of the fall were not long. As I approached, I noticed a deep scratch on the side of the yurt. My first thought was that the ship had been attacked by a monster of the Forbidden Side, leaving that scar. It’s a classic children’s horror story: monstrous creatures with long and sharp claws lurk on the other side of the Twilight Zone, eager to catch children and feast on them if they get too close - Muu Shuvuu.

Laughing inwardly at the irony, I scrutinized the metal scar more closely. The face with wide-open eyes terrified me, causing me to fall to the ground. After pulling myself together, I took a deep breath and examined the body once more. Yep, he was dead. The airlock functioned remarkably well, considering the deep scar on the ship and the lifeless face. Inside, I immediately noticed the body that had frightened me. It was affixed to the wall; perhaps he had intended to use his own body to cover the hole. His muscular physique, combined with his clothing, worked as an excellent isolation. What a hero, I thought, an idiot also. Regardless of the effectiveness of his actions, he had accomplished his task. His daughter, miraculously, was still alive. Her left arm was wrapped around the body of her mother. The arm, from the fingers to the wrist, bore severe frostbite, likely fourth-degree. It was the last maternal instinct, a desperate attempt to retain the warmth of her body.

By their uniforms and pictures around, I recognize this couple. One of the most respected people on this planet. They were people with great skills and honor, the guarantors of the treaty between Torguud, Yurtchi, and Khevtuul. Their death would severely change the political landscape of Iceheim, but I didn’t have time to think about it back then. I grabbed the girl and went back to my yurt. She was too light; her body spent a lot of resources to keep crucial organs alive. And she was dehydrated.

As soon as I took the pilot’s seat, the system began making incessant noises, and everything turned red. It was warning me about a coming storm. I was only able to send one message to the other rescuers, informing them that I was going back to Horde with the girl. As I took off, the wind became stronger. I started accelerating; thankfully, my engine was checked before the mission. I gained altitude and speed with no issue and headed straight to Horde. Soon, we would reach the Terminator. 

Shortly after, when everything seemed to be fine, I noticed that this girl was awake. Her body was still weak, lying there, and just staring at me, or maybe at my soul, with her very pale, whitish-blue eyes. She was about to speak, but a violent shake distracted us. I was about to curse, but the child was next to me. We were just infants of the Terminator, and I couldn’t leave the pilot seat to go back and check what had happened. With this great risk, I was preparing to follow the star; preparing for another violent shakings, but the last one was too early to be caused by the environment of the Twilight Zone.

Muu Shuvuu, I thought again and started laughing out loud. That damn monster still wanted to get the child and was following us. The girl looked at me confused, but soon also started giggling, which spooked me a little. She laughed as if she could read my mind, but I couldn’t stop laughing either. I, for no reason, was too excited, and then the kid tried to stand and dance. I don’t have children, and I don’t spend much time with them, but I did understand that this behavior wasn’t normal. Her body was in a critical state, and we were still in Terminator with abnormally strong storms, so sudden shakings didn’t go anywhere. Even the not-so-smart kids follow basic instincts of self-preservation. I understood what had happened only after she collapsed on the floor. 

Either a rock hit my yurt just before entering the Terminator, or a degraded metal couldn't resist the cold anymore, and it caused the strange shaking earlier. Something, doesn’t matter what damaged the Environmental Control and Life Support System. Its function, besides maintaining ideal temperature, is to regulate the concentration of gases so that we could easily breathe without our suits. I was sure that it wasn’t isolation loss; temperature remained constant. It must have been the Oxygen Generation System; the regulators failed, flooding the cabin with highly pressurized, pure oxygen. If the concentration of this gas keeps increasing, I would suffer the same fate as my only crewmate.

Hyperoxia, or oxygen toxicity, caused by breathing highly oxygenated air for some period of time, can lead to cellular damage and changes in behavior. Since my body is significantly larger, I had more time than the child. Still, I will follow her soon. I’ve already begun to feel dizzy, and the situation is worsening with each passing minute. As I pressed an emergency button, I started descending to make the un-piloted landing much more survivable. But because of my state, it was more like a free fall. When I realized what I was doing, I pulled the yoke to stabilize the ship.

Despite my best efforts to remain awake, I can’t go against biochemistry. Just before I started losing consciousness, I saw a sunset. Then, my arms stopped obeying me, and my eyes started to slowly and unwillingly close, even if there was so much beauty in front of me. The star is what allows us to live. No one is worshiping it anymore, but we still respect it and are thankful for it. I couldn’t have imagined how much I would miss it in this short period of time. When I was falling, the last thought ran through my mind. What a way to die on Iceheim - too much oxygen. Before I hit the floor, the last thing I recall is making, or at least attempting to make, a laugh at this thought. 

I awoke in a white room, my head throbbing with an unbearable headache. I couldn’t tell if it was due to oxygen toxicity or a blow to the head; I was disoriented. Someone spoke to me, but it was still blurry. As I attempted to rise, a sharp pain shot through my arm. The same person pushed me back onto the bed. I’m certain they meant to be gentle, but it was painful. Only if I knew who it was. Unknown time later, I awoke again. I don’t know if I cried or not, but I was happy to be alive, to not be on the Forbidden Side of the planet, and not be eaten by Muu Shuvuu. The recovery from crucial injuries went smoothly, so I was able to discharge from the hospital shortly after. My arm was still broken. Luckily, it was not super bad. I lost my left eye; doctors said it fell out of its socket. Though walking around almost completely covered in bandages was not comfortable at all. 

I found out that only two people survived the rescue mission, me and this girl. When I was still on painkillers and couldn’t completely understand and realize what had happened after we left Horde. Khevtuul’s remaining power wasn’t enough to stop Yurtchi’s attempt to seize full control. In such a short period of time, due to the death of the Guarantors and the fragile balance, Yurtchi attacked and subjugated Torguud and the remaining members of Khevtuul. The last two have been waiting for the return of the main powers of Khevtuul from the Forbidden Side to overthrow, as they thought, the temporary government. But the longer they waited, the more time Quartermaster had to stabilize its power. There was a rumor that someone sabotaged the preparation for the mission. This explains why Yurtchi didn’t actually try to stop us when I got the message. 

But now, surrounded by the chaos of the surging crowd, I find that I am able to think clearly. I clearly want to punch her in her face. The most prominent figures of Khevtuul have passed away; my friends, my friends’ friends, and even the Guarantors - all of them have met our ancestors. However, the emotions I experience are not the familiar bitterness of loss; on the contrary, they are a mix of everything, and at the same time nothing but a terrifying feeling, as if something horrible certainly will happen soon. Of course, we couldn’t allow her to die, but the problem isn't whether her life was worth all those sacrifices. Some might argue about it for hours, including me. The question is whether her life will be worth the war with The Great Khaganate. 

Yurtchi’s power is currently overwhelming, resulting in Iceheim having a single-planetary government. It’s highly probable that spies have already sent this information to the high-ranking commanders of the Khaganate Space Fleet. Maybe, a squadron or even an entire armada is heading towards our home planet. The Great Khaganate is a powerful imperial state that does not tolerate other khaganates, which is precisely what Yurtchi is now. 

Something is off; I mean something is too normal. I got too lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice how the crowd, still surrounding me, gave me some space. They made a circle with a radius of 2 or 3 meters. I am a little shocked and confused, and looking around I realize that everyone is staring at me. I looked down, and the girl is also staring at me with her now even more pale, whitish-blue eyes. Her irises are so magnificent and charming under the starlight. She raises her arm and grabs three fingers of my left hand. Her left hand is cold and black. It is an implant. Doctors couldn’t save her left arm and it was amputated. Looking directly at my soul, she, with her gentle voice asked me: “Are you my new mama?”